I apologize I’ve been on an Internet hiatus the past 5
months but am thrilled to be back and beginning a new career. I hope you all
had an amazing summer! I think it’s fair to say we are all living life striving to be our best. I’ll spare you the details of my summer
but I wanted to share some things I learned over the past few months, and
hopefully one or two will resonate with you, on how to captivate your best life.
1.
Choices are for oneself; decisions are for
others.
“Kelley, you are a decision maker. Decisions
take into account what others think. Choices take into account what you think.”
- Dr. Jade Teta. I have struggled my entire life with approval. Everyone who
knows me, knows I love to talk to people, I absolutely love it! But those that
know me well know that I consistently have to ask others for their opinion,
advice, or guidance on important choices for my life. I’m 27 now, and I still struggle with it despite moving
around the country, going to various schools, and changing careers. When Jade said this to me, I felt empowered, inspired, and relieved! My challenge to myself and to you if
you choose to accept, is to make a choice today! Start with one choice for yourself and keep going onto the next. Choose how your think, choose how you respond, choose what you do with your time! I will be a choicemaker for myself and will save my decision making for the policy world when I complete the Public Health Policy degree.
2.
Quitting is OKAY, in fact it's GREAT!
Think about it for
a minute. I never thought
I would find myself saying this! But out of everything I have
learned over summer, quitting might be the most valuable lesson. I was in a job about a month ago where I wasn’t happy. I would
cry after work every night, dread getting up every morning, hardly worked out,
lost my social life, and almost cost me some of my closest relationships. However,
the job was paying for my degree. Money can make us do some crazy things! I
kept using self talk to tell myself to “tough it out”, “suck it up”, “it’s only
two years,” “ I love the people I work with.” I would tell myself anything to
avoid the “scary” thing. And then it happened. A close friend saw me at work
and could not recognize me for who I was. I lost myself. I was no longer
smiling, talking, doing much of anything but getting by. I wasn’t going to get
better as a person and I certainly wasn’t helping others, I couldn’t even help
my self. But how could I quit? And just give up tuition, a stipend, and a lot of
money that I don’t have. Scared to death and not sure of the future (that’s
that whole uncertainty thing we tend to fear) I made the CHOICE to quit. It was
not easy by any means but I knew that alternative was a million times worse, or
as Jill told me:
"Nothing is ever irreversible. There's never going to be something you can't handle. NOT taking risks is scarier!" - Jill Coleman.
3.
Expectations kill joy.
Oh my little sister, Krissy and Dr. Jillian Sarno are genius! Growing up, Krissy has always had special
quality about her that is able to see things from a different perspective, a
much more deep and meaningful one. Anyways, she says this saying to me a lot. I
normally don’t dwell on it. But lately I have. We set ourselves up with such high expectations: to
loose 10 pounds, start a business, do laundry, dinner, raise the kids, exercise, eat perfect, blah blah blah – you know what I am
talking about. But then when we fail to meet these expectations we spend just as
much time and energy on self-loathing and self-deprecation. For what? And then
we place expectations on other people. And what happens to us when those expectations
aren’t met? Same negative thought process, but it only really affects our own
happiness, not anyone else’s. So be easy on yourself. We are human, and we’re
fortunate to be where we are. Next time you let you down or are let down
by someone else: check yourself! Was it because you expected otherwise? Was
it a fair expectation? Can you change your perspective?
4.
Pain is the catalyst for growth.
After attending a conference this weekend I
saw an image that looked something like this - clearly I am not a graphic designer! (Reference: The Tools by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels) Pain is good thing! If we didn’t feel pain we would be living
in our comfort zone constantly. Pain isn’t
fun; in fact, it sucks. But, in reality when we push through the pain, we grow and get closer to becoming our best self. We become better in our workouts, better in our eating habits, better in our
career, better in our relationships, better in our lives. If we avoid pain, we are never going to
progress. I had the opportunity to sit down with a dear friend last night and
she revealed to me her battle with breast cancer. Her story was astounding, “The cancer made me better” She endured pain and has entirely new outlook on life. This brought me back to my reality. No matter what our pain maybe: a workout, a relationship, a health complication, it can teach us to grow, to become our best selves, if we choose to let it.
5.
Happiness is not an option: it is a must.
I know this blog is usually focuses on workouts,
food, and a busy schedule, but I felt like we all need a mind workout from time
to time. And honestly, the best way to achieve optimal health, I believe, is
through happiness. The mind is
such an amazing and powerful gift we have, but unfortunately, most of us don’t
even know this, and if we do know it, we don’t cultivate it. The secret here is
that happiness comes from within you. You can’t find it from a partner, kids, a
job, money, amazing body, food, etc. When we are happy we are much likely to
succeed: in our work, in our relationships, in our exercise and diet programs,
and in life. When were you happiest? What were you doing? How did you feel? How
was your health? Make happiness your state of being instead of the place you want to be.
In closing,
·
CHOOSE what is best for you, don’t always decide
·
QUIT what you are doing if you aren’t happy
·
LET GO of expectations and believe in yourself
·
ENDURE pain and great things are waiting
·
BE HAPPY and live your best life!
Thanks for coming back! I look forward to staying in touch with you all!
